Anxious

Have you ever felt a storm inside you?

Have you ever hugged your pillow on your chest to stop that storm?

Have you ever prayed to god, please stop the heaviness?

I felt all together yesterday. I just grabbed my quilt and pressed my chest so badly to stay calm but I couldn't.

I tried to practice my newly excavated breathing routine, but it didn't work out. I stood more scared, worried about the situation. Voice in my head we're continuously provoking me to acknowledge my failures. Everything coming in my head was negative, about relationships, career, family, health etc.

I was getting deep into the numbness, but a small massage from my promising companion helped me get out of the situation. 

A ray of hope hit me, that what if I never sensed the first touch of love, what if I never felt how it feels when for the first time you get noticed by someone, what if I have never got any compliment on my eyes, lips, curves.  What if I never went through the pain of being ditched or being treated like an owned product. What if I never resisted the pain of heart tears. It would be harder to enter somewhere without having experience.

These incidents made me more of a person, who I am today. I am more aware of me and my needs. I am privileged. 

Suddenly, the storm broke off in me, it was such a relief. We need to analyse our lives, yes somehow in the era of the internet, social media, we are a lot more lonely as compared to our friend list but rather compromising with your emotion, take a deep breath and think twice.